argh

yesterday i played ball, there was lizard under my basketball base, and i was dunking, and the base lifted up and landed on the lizard, and it totally splat everywhere, it was gross. i was sad and i prayed for it. then some house alarm went off, and the cops came but apparently it was some false alarm accident. bummer, lake forest can use some spicing up, as long as it doesnt relate to me. 

a day later...

i went to school and was totally bored.i found out that i had an ap lit card due that day that i thought was due on friday, so i was like, oh shiz. i finished though with the help of kimberly and grace, it looks like shizzles though. im so horny. i went home and my 2nd grade neighbor came over, and we played ball for an hour. i totally dominated him, it was brutal, of course i let him win because im not that big of a douche. but, of course i had a little fun too, i was dunking and everything and showing him who's "daddy". then i actually did my ap world history homework. i talked to kimberly about funny things, and then i went to learn some songs on guitar spontaneously. its funny because i usually dont learn songs spontaneously,i usually jsut write, or learn the ones i have to learn to play my retreats. buts its all good, like a penis. i told caroline that this blog was about me cutting myself, which it totally isnt. oh yeah, i apologize caroline if you're reading this. today after first period i saw that caroline was in crutches, and i was like, "hey what the hell is this about" and she was like, "I fell down the stairs". i laughed, and somehow that made my day better. sorry, not because i hate you caroline, but because i think cripples are funny, jk, seriously, its just i needed a good laugh. 

patricks profile song makes me tear because its so beautiful.

break

cant wait til spring break

boring

today was an interesting mix of events. first AP review session for 3 hours. then i got to drive the SUV home. then i went to church to rehearse music. i had a bad stomach ache, fell asleep fpr 15 minutes. went to mass. went to fountain valley to eat black angus. when to godfathers house, drove SUV home. took a shit (The one where you wipe your ass and theres no stains on the paper :) Now this is where i am, about to do my damn chapter questions.

in response to the last blog

nevermind. i still need to find something to do though.

wait

just have to wait i guess. i need something to keep myself occupied while i do

sucks

it sucks that everytime i like a girl there's something restraining anything from happening. SO MANY TIMES. on the smaller crushes i usually end up sabotaging everything because im afraid of comitting. all the other time the girls like Andy instead. or sometimes they already had a boyfriend. i remember once the communication was so bad she said i didnt know how to talk to girls and i asked too many questions. that was because i was asking questions because i was trying to get her to say at least two sentences in reply because she always replied with "ok". that is so annoying. my relationships suck so bad, sometimes i think God made me to be lonely, but i guess that's okay, i just want to know if it was to be this way or not, so i could stop trying and save the time to do something productive.

3/25

yesterday was a really sad day. but i felt happier today because of something. im being bland but thats okay. i wrote "kill myself" on my arm with Kimberly's pen today. I don't think I will. I'm writing a song.

l>l

like leads to love